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How I Usually Answer These 10 Common Questions About Being Mixed Race

Comedian Jules Posner: How I Usually Answer These 10 Common Questions About Being Mixed Race

1. So, what are you?
I’m half something and half something else. Why does it matter? Also, if you’re asking me “What am I?” there’s like a whole philosophical aspect to that question that I also don’t care to answer.

2. So, do you identify with your mother or your father’s side more?
Well, I identify with my mom because I’m being courteous enough to entertain this question, but I also feel a strong identification with my father because I kinda want to sucker-punch you for asking me such an annoying question.

3. So, what was it like growing up with parents of different races?
It was like having living with two people that grew up with two sets of ideologies and they met and then realized those ideologies had some overlap. Subsequently, this compatibility led to love, marriage and the start of a family. So it was like growing up with two parents that loved each other and loved me.

4. You’re mom’s Latina? I bet she’s a dope cook.
Unfortunately no. I mean she’s okay, but she was really busy working 10 hour days at the hospital and it didn’t allow her much time for prep or produce shopping.

5. Do you speak Spanish?
No.

6. Why don’t you speak Spanish?
No se.

7. How are you Jewish if your mom isn’t Jewish?
I had a bris. So, if you don’t think I’m Jewish tell that to my circumcision.

8. So, is your dad super cheap?
He’s a musician so I wouldn’t say he’s cheap. Just poor. Thanks though!

9. Do Jews control the media?
No, just the weather.

10. Man. That’s a crazy mix. What’s that like?
It’s pretty chill. I mean I’m really cute, so that helps.

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