Too many articles are telling introverts how to be more extroverted…. Well… this one is here to flip the script and give some tips to making your introvert friend more comfortable. Of course you can be an introvert, extrovert or a blend of them both – it’s a sliding scale.
This is just a list of things that might help your friend (or you!) feel more comfortable.
What’s the difference between an introvert and an extrovert? There’s loads and as mentioned before it’s a sliding scale of where you fall on it. But generally speaking, Extroverts feel recharged and energised speaking to people, their ‘battery’ doesn’t drain as quickly if at all. Whereas an introvert drains their ‘battery’ very quickly amongst people, and needs more time alone to recharge and prefers smaller groups.
Anyways…. Here’s the list!
1. Don’t invite other people without telling them.
They said yes to hanging out with YOU. They’ve saved up energy and pumped themselves up for a one on one interaction. A new addition can cause worry, panic and needs a whole load more energy they might not have.
2. Don’t show up unannounced.
Introverts don’t have unlimited social energy, showing up unannounced at their place might mean you’ve caught them on a recharge day.
3. Don’t blame them for saying no
‘Come on, just come out for ONE drink’. NO. Respect their boundaries. They might have gone out already in the week, or they might be desperate for a self care night. Accept the no and move on.
4. Be their buddy
Seen them at a party in the corner on their own? They might be starting to shut down, check in on them and make sure they’re ok. Sometimes starting conversations can be really hard for introverts. Or they might want to go but are just plotting how…. they may need someone to help them plan their escape.
5. Include them in conversations
Your friend might be more of a listener than a chatter, and that’s great! But remember to keep looking at them during the conversation and offering open ended questions to make them feel included.
6. Not everyone wants to be the main character
Although we’ve just said to include them in conversations, please don’t embarrass them with stories of their exploits, or drag them up on the karaoke stage. They might be super comfortable with you, but not around everyone else.
7. Don’t be offended if they go quiet on you or say no to plans
Everyone has their own level of social battery, sometimes your introvert friend might need more time to recharge and take time for themselves.
8. Try doing an activity they like
If they’re more of a solitary hobby person, instead of meeting in a busy restaurant that they might find overwhelming – try meeting up for a park picnic, it’s much more low key and they won’t feel as drained. Even just walking around a bookshop can be a dream for an introvert. Finding new ways to hang out that’s just between you both can be great.
9. Embrace the quiet
Just because there’s more quiet in the conversation than usual isn’t a bad thing, sometimes introverts don’t feel the need to talk all the time.
10. Just ask!
Although they might not want to go out or hang out every time, an invite is always a lovely thing to have! Just because they feel like they need more alone time, doesn’t mean that they won’t want to hang out with you.
11. Appreciate the quick exit
Sometimes all of a sudden an introvert’s social battery will run out. If they say they need to go home, they mean RIGHT NOW. Sadly there’s very little warning for the social battery being in the red. So please, don’t beg us to stay for ‘one more’ drink or song. We need our space ASAP!
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