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Anxiety Relationships

Separation anxiety: What you need to know

It’s summer, and the world is opening up again. But that might mean that this is the first time in a long time that you and your other half head your separate ways for trips, family get-togethers and that long-awaited holiday. If that’s got you feeling anxious that might mean you are suffering from separation anxiety. Well we know it might feel like you simply can’t do stuff without them, but you definitely can. So here is everything you need to know about dealing with separation anxiety. 

Know that this is completely normal 

When you spend a lot of time with someone, it’s natural to be nervous about having that disappear. The key thing to remember is that this won’t last. Just because they are going away, doesn’t mean you are losing them forever. So there really is not any point in spiralling into a panic. Instead, use this time for you. 

Find out more about anxiety here

Use this as a chance to spend some time reconnecting with other people

When you are in a relationship, especially if it’s fairly new, it’s common to spend a lot of time with this person, and neglect some people you usually spend a lot of time with. So when they are off on their adventures, use this time to reconnect with people you might have left behind a little in recent weeks and months. Plan things with family and friends that you usually enjoy doing together. Sort out some day trips, a picnic, a football match. People will appreciate you making the effort to see them when you’ve been a little AWOL. 

And reconnecting with yourself 

You’ve also probably not had much of an opportunity to spend time alone lately. Don’t think of it as a punishment or a chore, but rather a chance to do the stuff that you love to do when you’re alone. Whatever you miss about your independent life before they came along, do it now. You’ll be grateful for the time to reconnect with who you are, especially when it can be easy to lose track of you when you are always in someone else’s company. 

Try not to always be on the phone to them

This is a break for them as well as for you, and you might risk alienating them, their family, and the people around you by staying glued to your phone trying to talk to them all the time. Before they go away, why don’t you both set some boundaries about how often you will communicate during the time you’re separate. You both might find it difficult to keep to a set schedule so just say that you will message a few times a day, or call every few days when you are both available. 

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Do some fun stuff! 

The best thing about having a little bit of time apart is having stuff to talk about when you get back together. Plan some fun activities for you and your family and friends. Plan a trip that you might get to take in the future. Get some stuff done you’ve been meaning to do for ages but kept putting off. Whatever it is you are filling your time with during this period, it’s memories for you and other people. Plus if your other half comes back from holiday and has all this awesome stuff to talk about and all you’ve done is watch Netflix, it will probably bum you out even more. 

For more, check out our relationships hub here.

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