Hey guys – I’m Dan. I’ve teamed up with Ditch the Label to answer some of guys’ most asked questions on the internet so you don’t have to spend hours trawling Reddit and Google for dating advice that probably won’t actually work.

So sit back, and let me tell you how to do everything from getting a girlfriend to dealing with a bad break up. This post not quite what you’re looking for? Take a look at the Lynx hub on Ditch the Label to find out more

Looking for someone 

Well, first off you gotta find the right person for you. I know you aren’t going to go up to any random girl in the street and ask her out, but it’s important to look for the right person if you want something that lasts. You need to have stuff in common, be able to get on well, and both be willing to put the work in. 

Try hanging out with someone in a friendly way, outside of school/uni/work or wherever you met them. You could see if your mates could help you out with this by getting a bit of a group together and inviting her and her mates too. A group situation takes the pressure off, and you can see a bit more of what they are really like in a social situation.

Also, you gotta do you as well – be yourself. If you try to be anyone else, she will quickly see through it, and you’ll only end up feeling miserable anyway. Yourself is the best. 

Making the first move

If you’ve gotten to know them a bit and think you guys could hit it off, this next bit is probably the scariest of them all. Trust me when I say, literally everyone is nervous of this one – you are not alone.

First off, you gotta stay calm. Try making sure you are in a nice setting, where you both feel comfortable and can chat in private. Keep breathing as well dude – you don’t wanna be panicking now. 

Start off by saying you’ve loved getting to know her, you think she is awesome and you would like to see where things might go if you guys tried seeing each other exclusively. Keep it chill, but complimentary. 

Making something last

So you’ve made it this far, and you’ve got the yes! That’s awesome! Well there are a few things you need to know about relationships to make them last. First off, you gotta be present. You have someone else in your life now who wants to spend time with you, so you might have to train yourself to turn off the PS4 and put your phone down when they are around. 

Keep the communication going all the time, so if you want a little space, be nice about it and say you are hanging out with your mates but you’ll call them later. And actually call them. Similarly, don’t play the who texted last game with them. You guys are in a relationship now, and that literally could not matter less. For more – read this article on 10 things you need to know for the most awesome relationship.

Being shy can be awesome. Some of the most amazing people in history were famously pretty introverted. Bill Gates, Albert Einstein, Abraham Lincoln, Dr Seuss, Barack Obama, Steve Wozniak.

Shy people have proven time and time again that they can rule the world when they put their mind to it, so you definitely have the power to ask a girl out. You got this man, and we’ve got your back all the way. 

Check out the Lynx Hub on Ditch the Label here for more from me, and loads of other stuff on relationships, dating, confidence and more.

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international day of friendship

We Found the World’s Best BFF….

For International Day of Friendship, Ditch the Label went in search of the world’s best best friend. We called for people to nominate their BFF for the chance to get kitted out in the latest DTL merch…. and the winner is…

 

Chloe Roper, 26 from London

DTL BFF

Leigh and Chloe

Leigh Halifax and Chloe Roper from London are officially the World Best Best friends after being friends for 20 years!!! Leigh nominated Chloe as this year’s DTL BFF and here’s a snippet of what Leigh had to say:

One thing that makes them unique:
Her strength: she is an incredibly bold, courageous, outspoken and just person but at the same time so gentle, loving and giving.
She knows herself better than anyone, she knows her worth and uses her unwavering strength to stand for what’s right.

Why does your friend deserve recognition during World Friendship Day?
We’ve been friends for two decades now. In that time I have moved to three different countries and we’ve been separated so many times. Not once has our friendship been in question, she has moved mountains for me and even moved to Australia for 6 months to live with me over there.

She holds my hand, shouts at me, makes me laugh, gives me a shoulder, encourages me, is firm with me and listens to me. She’s not only my best friend, but she’s my soul mate; I absolutely could not imagine my life without her.

Give us one example of something that your friend has done that makes them an amazing friend:
There’s not just one big thing she’s done; it’s in the daily things. Sending me a text reminding me she loves me; without knowing that’s exactly what I needed. The way she worries if she doesn’t know where I am. She’s the most honest and truthful (sometimes painfully) person, even when I’ve not wanted to hear something she knows it’s exactly what I need to hear and she’ll say it.

She’s the best!

Here’s what Chloe had to say:

Where did you and Leigh meet?
We met at Primary School, my earliest memory at school together is in year 4, so we were about 8 or 9 years old.

What makes your friendship amazing?
The complete and utter honesty we give each other (no matter how brutal) and the complete trust we have in each other. I’d trust him with my life, he really is the ying to my yang, and sometimes, I think, my soulmate.

What’s one example of something which makes your friendship the best?
There’s lots of examples of him being a great friend. Daily he makes me laugh. He let me stay in his house for 6 months in Australia, rent free and paid for everything. He’s caring, and kind and never makes me feel anything less than fabulous. I really couldn’t imagine my life without him.

😍😍😍😍😍

Happy World Friendship day folks – grab your bezzie and tell them how much you love em’

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10 Things You Should Never Say On A First Date

There is plenty of advice on what you should say on a first date… but how about the things you should never say when you first meet?

1. I love you.
It’s a nice sentiment but it’s too soon babe. Too soon. You are in lust. Let me know if you still love ’em once the pheromones have worn off and you’ve seen them burp, fart and pick wax out of their ears.

2. Tell me about your ex.
Clearly an indication that you are prone to jealousy. You might as well go dressed as a big, old, green-eyed monster – it’s more subtle.

3. My ex always used to say that.
I mean who doesn’t love being compared to an ex? Or constantly reminded of an ex? Is there a bigger turn on? Yes, actually there is: being pelted with tomatoes, whilst listening to someone scratch their nails down a chalkboard.

4. You don’t look like your photo.
Honestly, who does these days? I’m surprised anybody actually recognises their own filter-free refection in the mirror anymore, let alone someone else’s.

5. Call them by the wrong name
You will BOTH be praying for the ground to swallow you up whole. Just, so utterly, unbearably, AWKWARD!

6. You’re paying for this right?
Good manners cost nothing. Plus, you’ll miss out on the cute ‘No, I’ll get this’ post-dinner debate that makes every waiter/waitress die a little on the inside.

7. My family are CRAZY!
If your main goal is to scare your date off, then congratulations – you may have just scored!

8. I’ve got another date after this one…
Honesty isn’t always the best policy. There might be plenty of fish in the sea and you might have the net, but no one wants to feel like small fry.

9. What do you think of me?
PSA: You don’t need anyone else’s approval.

10. I suddenly remembered…I have to go.
Surely you can come up with a kinder, more imaginative alternative? Like getting your friend to call you with a fake emergency or…climbing out of the restaurant’s bathroom window?

There you have it, a list of the best things to say on a first date… NOT. 🤦

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10 Things Gossip Girl Taught Us

1. Things are never as bad as you think.
I mean if Blair can say that having lived through a near-fatal car crash, a divorce, her BFF sleeping with her boyf behind her back (all before the age of 18 mind), then take it as gospel: things are never as bad as you think.

2. Friendships have ups and downs.
Serena and Blair prove that true friendship endures. No matter how absolutely disgustingly awful they are to each other throughout the series, their friendship always prevails. Such a cute sentiment right? While friendships in the real world definitely have their fair share of ups and downs, maybe don’t test your BFF’s trust and patience as much as these two did.

3. Don’t judge a book by its cover.
You think you know someone and then BAM you find out Dan Humphrey is Gossip Girl. Also, can someone explain to me why his inner circle didn’t seem that bothered by the fact he had spent years secretly cyberbullying them…? And also can someone PLEASE explain to me why he once asked Gossip Girl for help finding Serena when he was in fact Gossip Girl? I’m concerned for his mental health ’tis all.

4. The course of true love sometimes doesn’t run smooth.
Okay, okay, it was Shakespeare that originally taught us that but let’s face it; Chuck and Blair really hammered the point home.

5. You don’t give up when things get tough. 
No Nate you don’t, so put away those puppy-dog eyes and try and try and try again, until eventually you succeed.

6. Chuck Bass. 
A very important thing that GG taught us was Chuck Bass. If you think this sentence doesn’t make sense you clearly haven’t seen Gossip Girl.

7. Just because someone says they are okay, doesn’t mean they are.
Honestly though, this is quite an important lesson to learn. If you feel like someone might be struggling – even if they are saying they are ‘fine’ or ‘okay’, they might be too embarrassed to admit how they are truly feeling. Listen to your instinct and just make sure you let them know that you are there for them. Your friendship could make all the difference to someone who might be suffering from depression, anxiety or experiencing bullying. Keep a close eye on them and seek out support from a trusted adult if you are worried for their safety.

8. You don’t give up on the people you love. 
Never stop believing in those you love. They might be acting out of character right now but maybe that is because they are going through something. Make sure they know they have your support, love and trust. Your belief in them might just help them out of the rough patch they are in.

9. You shouldn’t judge others.
Remember that pulling somebody else down will never take you any higher. Wise words from Blair Waldorf, the most judgemental person of them all. Oh wait, now I’m being judgemental! Sorry B…

10. Love people for who they are. 
Don’t try and change someone; love them for their unique qualities and their differences. Love them for who they are, not in spite of who they are.

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love, couple, bff

10 things that happen when your BFF finds a significant other

Prepare to feel awkward like, 99% of the time.

1. You pretend to stare intently at nothing to avoid creepin’ on their PDA. 

2. The film you’d usually go and see with your BFF – well, they’ve already seen it with their significant other. Netflix it is. 

3.  This becomes a regular conversation:

BFF: Don’t worry – you’ll meet someone soon too.
You: I’m actually pretty happy being single.
BFF: *Pitiful smile* Of course you are!

4. When your BFF actually manages to take some time out of their schedule to spend time with you, you want to introduce a ‘no phone’ policy:

5. But then, even when they aren’t messaging or ringing their significant other, they’re talking about them. Incessantly. All the time. Forever. 

6. When they fight, your BFF comes crying to you. To show your loyalty you call their significant other every name under the sun (even though you don’t really mean it – well most of it) and then the next day they are back together like nothing ever happened and you’re just there feelin’ like a total backstabbing biatch. 

7. When they argue in front of you though…*finds self staring intently at nothing again*

8. The feels when they start hanging out with other couples:  

giphy-14

9. The moment you realise they tell their significant other everything – and I mean everything. Your secrets are no longer safe but it’s okay right? Because your BFF reassures you they are like, so totally trustworthy. 

10. The inevitable post-honeymoon-period realisation that your BFF misses you and that you need to hang out more, without significant other in tow. 

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