Categories
Identity LGBT+ Relationships

Tips for Your First Relationship After Coming Out

So you’ve done the hard part – you’ve come out! First of all, congratulations for making it this far. You’ve been incredibly brave to do it, and you’re now in a position to go forward living your life in the open and being true to yourself. This is amazing, and you deserve to be happy in this. 

So now, you’re out. And your mind might be turning to the possibility of having your first relationship now you’re out. The thing is, this can feel almost as impossibly intimidating as coming out in the first place. We have a few great tips and things you should remember before you jump head-first into a relationship. 

Be open and honest with yourself and the person you are with 

Communicating what you are and are not comfortable with with your partner is really important. It might be the first relationship after coming out for the both of you, in which case you will find yourselves in the same boat. However, if it is not, then being open about your boundaries and expectations from the beginning is going to help you feel more comfortable with relationships in the future. 

And remember, if they don’t accept your boundaries or pressure you into something you are not comfortable with, then they are simply not worth being in a relationship with. 

Take things slow and steady 

It’s natural to want to jump straight in and accelerate the relationship because you’ve been hiding your true self. But there is absolutely no need to speed up the relationship just because of this. 

Understand that this might be different to other relationships you might have been in 

If you’ve been in straight relationships before this, it’s important to know that this might be different. Navigating your first relationship after coming out will feel like it’s the first relationship you’ve ever been in. Whilst the rules around good communication, trust and openness still apply, you might find that some elements feel entirely different. 

Sometimes, people are going to stare 

As much as we ALL wish this was no longer a thing, unfortunately, it is still a thing sometimes. But being comfortable with who you are and staying true to yourself is the best way to live. It’s understandable that it will bother you, but always make sure you put your safety first instead of immediately confronting someone about it. If you do encounter homophobia, make sure you report it, and talk about it with people in your life. 

But this is an exciting time, so enjoy it. 

This is your time to fall in love, to have some fun, to make memories. Most importantly, it is your time to do it all as your authentic self and that is friggin’ awesome!

Do you need help with coming out? Check out these:
What Do I Do If Coming Out Doesn’t Go Well
Top 11 Tips for Coming Out as Lesbian, Gay or Bi
Top 9 Tips for Coming Out as Non-Binary
Coming Out as Trans – By Lewis Hancox

For more relationship advice and support, discover our dedicated relationship hub here.

RSS FORUM CHATS

  • I'm slowly falling in love with a trans male who's one of my closest friends, but he's crushing on another girl... How do I move on, and not let this affect me negatively?
    He's known the other girl longer than he's known me, and he's been crushing on her for a while. I'm trying to befriend his crush, just to get to know her better, since she actually does seem like a good person. Yes, I am slightly jealous, but I won't jeopardize anything between my crush and […]
  • valuing myself and the world again
    i moved from my house of 15 years the only home ive ever known about seven months ago and i feel completely unimportant because so many of my old friends don't speak to me anymore and the new friends I've made at my new school treat me horribly because they are all extremely ill and […]
  • Upset with an old friend.
    My online friend would make me feel emotionally drained, made me feel like/ call me an idiot, say I'm a r word. And felt very condescending at times. He apologized, but he never changed. At one point, he was angry at me for taking a while to respond to his messages, even though he did […]
  • Been writing some poetry
    Pretty much as the title says. I write poetry as a sort of therapy, a way to relax and express feelings that I can't work out. I'll post some in here if I can write them. thoughts on being invisible invisible but not intangible impact is everything and more often than not you wish your […]
  • Coming out
    I have a date with this girl that I really like. I have came out to my mom, but she said I have to tell my dad if I want to go on this date. My dad is very homophobic and believes that all lgbt people should die. I am afraid he will hate me. […]
  • stomach
    idk if this counts as body image or wtv, but i have stomach cancer and im not rly worried abt it at all but it rly hurts. what should i do to get rid of the pain?